Facing Anxiety in New Seasons

I wasn’t expecting it, I had been going to therapy, talking through everything I had swirling in my mind and it still punched me in the gut, hard.

Anxiety wasn’t unfamiliar, but unexpected in this new season, especially past the first trimester. I kept my pregnancy completely under wraps through the first trimester, two years ago I could barely keep myself alive so I highly doubted I could keep another human alive.

But the first trimester came and went and everything looked great, but the anxiety never left the scene. Into my 16th week, with all positive doctors reports and I still felt like I was walking on eggshells. Every time I got too hot, the car breaks slammed too hard, or I felt off I would panic. I could think logically, but it never clicked. Most of the time I combatted it with keeping myself busy with anything that I felt would keep me safe.

Why couldn’t I let go? Why couldn’t I just enjoy this season? It was defeating and isolating. BUT I knew freedom was possible despite what the enemy wanted to keep me trapped in.

So everyday I started in quiet instead of letting the days agenda start raging. Digging up all the lies and worry taking up space in my mind, taking those thoughts captive and replacing them with gratitude and hope in the future. Slowly, slowly the narrative is beginning to change. It’s only been 10 days since I started working so specifically on these moments, but every day is a little bit calmer, a little less stressful, and nothing seems quite as overwhelming.

I believe it’s the same for all of us. How often do we truly start the day in complete silence? Phones still away, no one else communicating with you yet, not attempting to conquer a workout, or be inspired by a podcast or new playlist? In today’s culture is it really possible?

Yes, and it’s necessary. AND it’s possible because God is bigger.

Put the phone down, keep the kids (or dogs) in bed for just a few minutes longer, create the boundary around that space. And work intentionally on turning every fear, lie, and overwhelming thought into something glorifying to the Lord.

Because of Him we can have hope in the future. Because of Him we can be free.

It starts with Day 1 and it may never fully feel like it goes away, but just keep pushing friend. We are in this together, and He has got you!

It’s FINALLY Time

I’ve been hinting around my book for almost a year now, and ya’ll it’s within a week of being READY! So, what does that mean exactly? Well I first want to do a little Q/A about the 180 pages of words, so that all of you who have asked now can hop on board!

  1. Why has it taken another 6 months since your first author copy?!
    • In April I posted a picture with my author copy, but there was still something unsettled in my heart about it. Literally yesterday it felt like after a couple edits I felt the Lord saying: “NOW”
  2. What is it about?
    • It’s about how isolated and unaddressed lies led to body image issues I felt like I couldn’t escape from. About how my image + identity was found in my sport & in how others (specifically men) viewed me and it led to a lot of frustration and hurt. It’s about how Jesus has a plan to use it and to heal it all!
  3. Are there any hard topics?
    • YES! On the same note I believe an older teenage girl could handle it. We talk about Body Dysmorphia, Eating Disorders, the Female Athlete Triad, how mental health plays a role in it all, seeking professional help, and about how when we let men speak too loudly it starts drowning out the only voice that really matters.
  4. Is it completely based on a true story?
    • While I take examples from other people’s stories, it is completely non-fiction.
  5. Is this book about Jesus?
    • 1000% yes. While, it conquers hard lies and schemes of the enemy Jesus is what this is centered around and is the core of why this book was written. I felt that this reality of mental health and Eating Disorders in today’s culture didn’t provide the hope of Jesus in many settings.
  6. Are you going through a traditional publisher?
    • I did a lot of research on this, but I found that for first time authors who do not already have a “platform” it is easier to go the self-publishing route. So, I’m using Lulu, it allows me support as needed and a safe place to work.
  7. Why now?
    • I knew this book was supposed to be released before the end of this year, but was waiting for when the Lord finally gave me the peace and confidence to move forward.
  8. Are you scared?
    • This may sound like a silly question, but yes! I don’t feel equipped, knowledgeable enough, or like the best writer. BUT do I feel like the Lord gave me these words? Yes, and with that I will be obedient.

This was the hardest thing I’ve done (because patience isn’t a strong suit of mine), but something I am so thankful for and excited to see how God uses it. Thank YOU for coming on board with me. Do you have any questions? I would love to answer any you might have at jordan@fuelingherforward.com .

Until next time friends,

Jordan

Boston: Simple Exploring Back in Time

I didn’t grow up with Harvard paraphernalia all over my walls (read: I’ve watched Gilmore Girls one too many times), but I understand it’s grandeur. There’s also harsh reality of some of our nations history that holds so much weight in Boston. To be upfront Boston was the first trip EVER that I didn’t plan out to a T. Usually every minute, every meal, every adventure has a time and date locked in, but this time it felt different. The three days previous in Acadia I were fairly planned, but now it was time to take in the rich history of this place in our country’s history. And while there were a few things we would have done differently here are 5 Adventures in Boston that hit the top of our list.

  1. Blue Bikes – the city biking system. There is an app that you can pick a trip or a 24-hour pass, grab a code, and bike from point to point. The app is great because it shows you where the stations are, gives you directions, and tells you how full or empty the docks are. The bike lanes are also pretty well done around the city so you feel pretty safe. Needless to say biking gives you a much bigger sense of the city and all it has to offer.
  2. Freedom Trail – Start in Boston Common and take a trip through the city and our nations rich history. You see sites such as the new and old state house, site of the Boston Massacre, meeting sites of our nations forefathers, and Paul Revere’s house. For the most part these places are close together. You can see them on your own or get in with a tour group, just take some extra cash as a few of these places cost a couple dollars to get into!
  3. Cambridge/Harvard University – I dreamt of doing the scene where Rory and Lorelei step up to the front gates of Harvard on their mother/daughter road trip and excitedly step onto it’s hallowed grounds. It wasn’t quite like that, but it was still breathtaking stepping through history, while all around you there is bustle of students getting to start their semester. Take bikes from Boston to Cambridge it’s walkable for some, but a bit of a haul.
  4. Boylston Street – I know Boylston street from my running: the famous and most prestigious finish line for marathoners. However, it also serves as the hub for shopping. Neither Jon and I are much into the luxurious shopping, but each of these streets boasts a unique flavor whether Rodeo Dr in LA, Michigan Ave in Chicago, or 5th St in NYC it’s worth checking out!
  5. Little Italy – Our first night there we stumbled across this festival on a small side street, little did we know it was a 100th anniversary feast of an Italian tradition. This small but robust neighborhood is lined with family owned pizza shops, gelato and cannoli parlors, and family’s and friends eating together on every corner. You feel a sense of pride, unity, and excitement just walking through these flavorful, yet busy streets.

There is so much more that I could say on our explorations. The South End neighborhood, Seaport, the riverside walk, and the area around Fenway are all memorable, but if you want must do’s these are mine.

Foodie post to follow on some of our favorite eats both nice and cheap around the city! Stay tuned friends.

Back Pain: 3 Keys to Core Strength

I’m a chronic stander, it drives my husband crazy. While I do prefer to stand naturally, there is more to it than that: sitting for long periods of time causes too much discomfort. Read: I had a doctors note that allowed me to leave my 1.5 hour long classes in college early because the max I could sit was 45 minutes.

I was destined to back problems before I was born, my dad has struggled with chronic back pain since before I can remember. So, when I hurt my back at the end of my sophomore year of college I knew it could be long and drawn out, I wasn’t wrong. My junior year was basically a wash, and it was hard on my body and my pride. Don’t get me wrong, that year wasn’t wasted – it taught me a lot about just how much it would take to keep my back healthy. It also taught me a lot about myself, my pitfalls, and my resilience.

But now, almost 10 years later and I am learning every day about the routine it takes to keep everything on track. So here is a look into my weekly routine to keep my core strong and my back healthy.

  1. Yoga (2-3x/week) – If you’ve followed me for any amount of time you know that I am a strong believer in the power of yoga – all types. But I particularly like the strong and slow flows that help you stabilize your body, while strengthening your core. Depending on your pain, you might have to modify and that is okay and really a good thing. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you should!
  2. Careful stretching (daily) – Proper stretching is incredibly important for keeping muscles loose and the body flexible. However, depending on where you feel less than your best you have to be careful about overextending. If needed, ask a physical therapist to show you the do’s and don’ts for you.
  3. A core routine (2-3x/week) – here is a look into the core routines that I prioritize throughout the week:
    • Plank – not the like the fad, but true planking for minutes at a time. You can stay on your hands or drop to your elbows, just make sure to keep you core tight and your back level.
    • Plank Jacks – your arms hold a plank, while your feet jump out and in like a jumping jack. I usually do
    • Leg Lifts – This one can get you in trouble if you do not keep your back flat on the ground. You want to keep your core tight and your back flat while you lift your legs from 6″ off the ground to a 90 degree angle.
    • Single Arm/Single Leg Body Weight Dead Lifts – Your right arms slowly goes down while your left leg comes up to a 90 degree angle.

All together now!

3-5 rounds of the following:

  • 30-90 second Plank depending on ability level
  • 20 Plank Jacks
  • 20 Leg Lifts
  • 10/each side Dead Lifts

Do you have any other exercises to add to the list?! If you have any questions about chronic back pain or stability + strength work doesn’t hesitate to push that contact button above!

Happy Weekend Friends!

Jordan

Running Through the Unknown and Three Reasons Why ANYONE Can Do the Peachtree Road Race

After the 2018 Peachtree Road Race I was on cloud 9. The goals I had set for myself had been crushed and I knew I wasn’t even at peak fitness. BUT with that much excitement came that much more pressure. After a short break I told myself I was ready to go, trying to prove that I still had more to give. But things never go according to plan: injuries, lack of motivation, and some health issues have plagued me for the past year.

Last July I had no idea the battle I was in for, it’s been a fight every step of the way, anxiety has been a roller coaster, and I am slower than I’ve been in three years. BUT! There is SO much I have learned and I have to be thankful for and every day that I can move my body is a gift that I am taking far more seriously these days. So why don’t we all set a new goal! It doesn’t mean it’s been easy, and it means that this year I had to walk, yes you read that right, the competitive athlete W-A-L-K-E-D part of the Peachtree Road Race because of the heat. I thought I would be devastated, but I wasn’t. It was OKAY. I got out there and did it. I moved my body, I was surrounded by an amazing community, and the encouragement from every direction can’t be taken lightly.

So where are you? How does your body feel when you get out there? Right now I have more bad days than good, but every day of proving I can still move is worth the bad days, and it’s the exact same for you! So here’s three reasons why even the furthest person from running 6.2 can participate in the Peachtree:

  1. Our bodies are resilient and they can do far more than we give them credit for when we start moving a little bit every single day. Yes, it’s a struggle to push START and yes the bad days might outweigh the good ones at first. Maybe you think there’s no way because the progress is too slow. It’s like with anything the more consistent you become the progress will start to speed up! Just be patient and start to discipline, your body will adapt and blow your mind.
  2. Don’t underestimate the power of community and encouragement. Some people relate the Peachtree Road Race to a giant parade, and it totally is from your most competitive to the people who are reaching for this goal for the very first time. There are people in ALL stages ALL around you and that’s just those on the course. Don’t forget the hundreds of volunteers and the thousands lining the streets cheering and providing water/food/etc to everyone who passes. You might think it can’t be that helpful, but I assure you, you get swept up in it and it helps carry you through.
  3. Running is optional. YEP, walking is totally acceptable. Thousands start down the street at a brisk walk, and that is completely okay. You are doing it right? Walking is a great stepping stone in seeing just all that you can do. So why not try it, you have nothing to lose and you might even surprise yourself.

So here’s to you and whatever obstacle you are facing, whether it’s health, discipline, a schedule that doesn’t seem possible. Set that small goals, in order to get to a bigger goal, see yourself reaching it, and start moving forward.

In it with you friends,

Jordan

Re-grounding Your Mornings and Enjoying the Early…

There have been 12308203 posts about good morning routines that help get your day off to a great start. BUT so often I hear the excuse that there isn’t enough drive to pull yourself out of bed early enough to set yourself up for success. I dare to say that it’s not so much about forming habits as it is finding the underlying foundation of why mornings can be so tumultuous. Maybe you’ve let the people around us convince you and I that in today’s “busyness” sleeping in and not worrying about the way you start your day is more acceptable than actually enjoying mornings. I hear so many people skipping out on breakfast or drinking 4 cups of coffee before they can even function. But is that really how we were created to live? Is that really thriving? Or have we let the cultural norm become too loud.

Several months ago I dug deep about how I was spending my mornings and why I still felt stressed even though I had exercised. Case in point it had an awful lot to do with cramming as much as possible in as little time as possible so you start the day and using food and coffee as the plug to keep me going. So I did a reset and here are a few things I have found in re-grounding your mornings:

  1. Find something that excites you in a morning routine. One of the things I have found that I enjoy about my mornings is a fresh cup of coffee and a really great book. So instead of snoozing my alarm and dreading putting my feet on the cold floor, I’m excited to dive into the next page of adventure without being to quick paced quite yet.
  2. Then set your alarm earlier. Instead of feeling like I am rushing to get everything crammed in before work I set my alarm 15 minutes earlier so that I can take it slow without being stressed before I ever step out the door.
  3. Get to sleep 1/2 hour earlier. When Jon and I first got married he did not understand why I preferred to be in bed between 8-9. While that doesn’t always happen, when it can I let it because it sets me up to achieve whatever goals I have for the next day or week.
  4. Fuel yourself well. Don’t get up and cram a bunch of white sugar in your face. It might give you a momentary high, but it will make you drag later in the day. Rather grab a piece of fruit, some nut butter and maybe one piece of toast (hold the jam), or if you have time scramble up some eggs. How you fuel yourself before and after you workout matters!
  5. Set goals! Goal setting is part of who I am, but I realize it’s not intuitive for everyone. However, having something to look forward to isn’t going to hurt you becoming consistent. I have long term and short term goals. Long term I having the next full marathon after almost three months. Short term I have an ideal weight I want to be which is why I am incorporating Whole30 in this season

All this to say I love the really practical steps that many other blogs provide. Drink a glass of water, practice gratitude, etc. They are all so helpful and I incorporate these little details almost every day, however, the first step is getting to the foundation of why you feel unmotivated or find it hard to roll out of bed before you can put in place structure. In the past several months most of my mornings are a lot more peaceful and enjoyable because I have reset what they are all about and first and foremost remembering WHO they are all about.

I hope this helps you do just that.